How Astrology was the Gateway Drug for my Spiritual Journey
I often feel misunderstood and not truly seen. Then I realize, it’s because I’m not really seeing myself to be able to share as authentically and raw as I can. I feel unsafe to be seen… it’s even kept me from seeing myself to share authentically so then I feel misunderstood because I’m not even being true to myself. It’s a vicious cycle that I kept myself in.
I’m afraid of rejection. I have this image of how I want to be seen so that I can be accepted. But then I think about the real reason I want to be accepted, and it’s not by everyone. It’s that innate feeling of belongingness I didn’t have growing up that I sought from outside of myself because I couldn’t even accept myself.
Astrology was my gateway drug into the spiritual world, where I finally felt understood, even deeper than I thought I understood myself. After the seeds were planted it took me a few years to be interested in finding myself & working with my purpose and gifts. As most of us find our way into spiritual healing, I also had to go through a dark and heavy time to find myself wanting something more. All in divine timing… but that’s a story for another day.
Your relationship with yourself is the most important one there is. It’s a journey through the lifetimes, but remembering unlocks the heart. Through astrology I’ve learned to accept and embrace the ways that I am, do things, and feel.
I’ve been able to see myself for who I am and who I’m trying to be. There’s so many aspects of myself that I’m afraid to share because I feel like with each rejection or lack or receptivity, it dims my light that I worked so hard to muster up the courage to turn on. I’m slowly learning to be in control of my own light and to celebrate my personal accomplishments vs. outside validations.
Recently I had the opportunity to meet Dossé-Via at a book signing for Signs & Skymates. Not only are we chart twins (almost!), but she also embodies and writes about how understanding ourselves is the basis of how we can understand and optimize our relationships with everyone around us.
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It all really begins with ourselves and that goes hand-in-hand with my personal journey and mission. If you’ve heard me speak about reiki, you know this is the #1 reason I am so passionate about sharing and teaching it!
Slide 1: The first round of photos with Dossé-Via; I felt so excited and grateful to meet her & for her work.
Slide 2: Going through the photos in my car, I was a little disappointed… I didn’t look as happy as I felt inside. I really noticed I subconsciously try to hide my feelings, even when they’re good ones. I ran back in, told her exactly this, and we re-did the photos. I’m still hiding them a bit in the photo, but being able to express that shadow side of myself to try to step into the light was profound and I’m so grateful she didn’t think I was weird or pathetic.
Slide 3: Chiron, the wounded healer. Mine is in LEO, so no surprise I’m working through struggles of being seen! This asteroid placement shone a light on my shadows, how easily I can see others and hype them up, but it’s something I find so hard to do for myself.
Slide 4: Juno — diving deeper into the love we seek beyond Mars and Venus placements. As I read my Cancer placement here, I released feelings of shame and embarrassment for always feeling like I wanted “too much.”
Slide 5: Embrace the shadow work to appreciate the light. Separate your programmed limiting beliefs from your truth. Call in what you want, not the hurt that you know. You can heal past hurts without repeating the same cycles again.
Slide 6 & 7: I love the Scoprio stellium energy in my chart. I identify with it so much because it’s my sun & rising. We are all so much more than just our sun sign. We are multifaceted and even those with the same charts can be so different based on a few differences in degrees. Be open to the layers and unique experiences of it all.
Slide 8: Wanting to be seen, but also still hiding. Taking it day by day. Growth isn’t linear and just as we celebrate our “good” days, also feel safe to embrace the “bad” days because the duality of life is what makes this place on Earth so special.